Yard work….I won’t lie….I’m not good at it. I don’t like it at all. I’m allergic to the outdoors in general,
which at the very least makes yard work even more difficult for me. This spring I knew I was going to have to dig
up some dead trees and shrubs, and make an effort to get a great amount done. I began the endeavor in May. I knew I was going to have to draw on the strength
of the LORD and pray a lot during the process.
I’m kicking myself for not taking “before” pictures. You see, this is a whole tale of redemption
and restoration. We have new management
in the community I live in. The manager
provided me with a list of things around the yard that needed to be done. I knew some of it, obviously, the dead
stuff. I also had a lot of split rail
fencing, which needed to either be painted or taken out. There were also some raised bed gardens that
the wood making the raised beds needed to be pulled up. Raised gardens are now frowned upon. This list was overwhelming, but not
unreasonable. I was given a deadline to
get it all done. I decided to take out
the fencing because I didn’t want to paint it year after year, and I wanted to
make mowing easier. I’ve totally
stressed out my weed whip trying to trim around all the fencing. And so the yard work journey began. It was extremely hard. I’m not the strongest person. My ex-husband planted up the yard with bushes
and trees. He was the one who planted
the gardens, mowed the lawn, and took care of the trees and flowers. Bear in mind, it is beautiful, but I am not
capable of taking care of it, nor do I have any interest. I am not a very good steward of God’s
earth. Part of how and why my ex planted
everything was to isolate. I was abused
both physically and emotionally. If the
isolation one feels in that situation isn’t bad enough, we were also closed off
from our neighbors, like the beauty outside would somehow mask the ugliness
inside. After many years of abuse, I
cried out to the LORD, who rescued me and my son. He gave me a plan and with the help of family,
we got my ex out of the house, and we were divorced. For the past few summers, I just got by with
the yard work. This year, I knew would
be different, not only because of the list management gave me, but this land of
mine needed to be purged and healed. I
spent quite a lot of time praying about it.
I felt I was being selfish in my prayers, not focusing on others, but
only myself. I didn’t feel like I was
making progress fast enough. Plus, the
weather was a great hindrance. It rained
every time I planned to do some work. I
also had this feeling I was being prideful by not asking for or accepting
help. I sought the LORD and here is what
I wrote in my journal along with God’s response: May 25, 2013 “Yard work. Boo!!
Took out six trees, five grasses, some shrubs, weed whipped, mowed, tons
of yard waste removed and wood burning.
Von (my boyfriend) asked me if I wanted help. I feel this is a reckoning of sorts and
declined. After working four hours
today, the LORD spoke to me, ‘You’ve got to be the one to do this. You’re almost there. You have to tear down what he (my ex) built
up, tear down his high places, his idols.
He tried to make beautiful what is really ugly. You’ve got to unveil what he covered, expose
what he wanted to keep isolated, remove the unwanted things he valued, dig up
the dead so growth can continue, so that the dead may rise. You will grow through this. The dead in you will be gone. New growth can start, more healing, fruit and
life. I’ve called you to live
transparent. The view of your life must
not be blocked or hindered by dead grasses and trees. You can’t love your neighbors with an
obstructed view. You can do this. I will give you My strength. I will hold you up and hold you by the
hand. You’re almost there. I am proud of you. Soon the destruction will be done. I will rebuild and make beautiful all that he
destroyed and made ugly.’” Oh how my
Daddy God encourages me! A few weeks
later, still battling rain, I asked the girls in my Bible study group to pray
that God would hold off the rain so the yard work could be completed. I had a deadline and needed to get it
done. A bit of a side story, but it does
go along with this. The man who lives
across the street from me spent the winter telling anyone who would listen wild
stories about me and my son, spreading rumors, which he told to my mom. She was worried sick about what he was
telling her about us. I kept telling her
not to listen to him, maybe not even talk to him. None of it was true. I prayed about that too, giving it to the
LORD and letting Him fight that battle for me.
I wanted to go knock on his door and tell him off. Thankfully, God kept me from doing that. Back to yard work….with the deadline
approaching, I spent many hours in my yard digging and digging and
digging. One of my neighbors, Anthony,
helped me haul the dead trees away, I reconnected with my neighbors Dawn and
Dean, and I met Bill and Vickie, and their two dogs, Bella and Sage. And, glory of all glories, the guy across the
street came over. He let me borrow an
axe to take down some bushes I didn’t want anymore. Larry is his name. His wife is Sharon. He came over and apologized for talking about
me and spreading rumors. Wow! Thank You, LORD, for fighting for me! I couldn’t believe it. I did have a bit of a melt down on a
Thursday, when it all seemed like too much and I felt like I was still getting
nowhere. There was so much wood, from
the fencing and flower beds. I didn’t
know what to do with it. I called a few
garbage companies to see about renting a dumpster, but they were all too
expensive. Plus, I would have had to do
a lot of lifting over my head. I was not
blessed with height either and I hurt my elbow.
At the suggestion of my boyfriend, I looked up refuge people on Craigslist. God brought me to Proper Disposal. They mention God in their mission
statement. They also recycle all the
items they pick up. Best part….they take
wood. YEA!!! I called.
Kelly came out, gave me a quote and the wood removal began. God finally allowed me to accept help after
my great meltdown. My boyfriend, son and
I worked for a few hours on a Saturday to finish getting all the wood out of
the ground and stacked. I will forever
be grateful for their help. Due to rain
and a truck break down, it took a few extra days for the wood to be removed. Proper Disposal was fair in price and got the
job done well. Kelly was great to deal
with. I enjoyed talking with him while
we loaded wood in this truck and trailer.
Seriously, call them if you need stuff taken away. Proper Disposal LLC
www.proper-disposal.com 616-218-6401
The hard stuff is done. I
literally felt God take the burden off me and free me from any tie to the
past. Now I only have to mow my
lawn. Part of me was still hanging onto
regret, from my former marriage and bad decisions. Even in that, God drew me near to Him. In my Bible study homework, Beth Moore
writes: “We would know if something is
worthy of cherishing out of those forgotten years only by the harvest that came
from them! Some of you have experienced
tragic endings to marriages and other close relationships. You may have had some wonderful years and
good times in that relationship, but the hardship and resulting rift spoiled
every good memory you had. God may want
to bring a measure of healing to some memories that you still have the right to
cherish. May I gently ask this
question: Did any lasting “grain” come
out of it? Any harvest? Physically?
Tangibly? Spiritually? Did beloved children come of it?
Did
God introduce Himself to you through it?
Did He show you His faithfulness in the midst of it? Did it produce any lasting transformation?” (The Patriarchs, Page 193) While I really don’t have good memories of my
marriage, and thankfully no children resulted (my son is not his), but God did
reveal Himself to me. That is something
I can hang on to, something I can cherish.
Through those ugly years, God was with me and protected me. He delivered me, rescued me, healed me,
adopted me and set me free.
Hallelujah! I gave all my regrets
over to the LORD, my Daddy God. Without
going through all those dark years, I wouldn’t have God. I wouldn’t have a great boyfriend, who truly
loves me. I wouldn’t have experienced
the overwhelming forgiveness my son granted me in all the mistakes I made. I wouldn’t have been reconciled to my
family. I wouldn’t have an incredible
church home, sisters in Christ, or even know God. The yard work is done. The healing has begun. God has done a great healing through it, just
like He said He would. The true heroes
of this story are: God, Von, Aubrey, my
Bible study girls, Anthony, Larry, Bill and Vickie, and Kelly at Proper
Disposal. Without any of them, I would
not have gotten it done. God is not too
busy for us. He loves us and wants to
heal us. He wants us to be whole and
holy. He wants a relationship with
us. Without God, I am nothing. I, once again, stand hand in hand with St.
Paul, and will boast all the more about my weaknesses. It is only through God’s strength that I do
anything. I shall close with Paul’s
words, from 2
nd Corinthians 12:9-10, “But he said to me, ‘My grace
is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in
weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (NIV84)
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